So I started today. A new approach to simplyifying. This week I was inspired by the author Kim John Payne's talk about "Simplicity Parenting" (his term, and the title of his new book). I have tried I can't tell you how many times to simplify my life, my thoughts, my kids' rooms, my house, the kitchen -- you name it, I've tried it. Or thought hard about trying it. But today I took a new tack. I gave myself one hour, and one rule: No Thinking.
5 hours later, I sit down to continue writing...
My kids emerged from ship building in the basement and I closed the computer. A step more than walking away, it turned the machine off in their minds as well as mine. More on that later.
One hour, one room, starting with only the kids' things. Target: the den, which adjoins the kitchen. Goal: under 10 books to remain, homework space created, toys minimized. Instead of black garbage bags, which Payne mentioned in his talk, I took clear bins. I began putting toys and books in the bins, quickly and without "going through" them. I spied a few favorite books and left them out. Into the bins went masses of books, atlases, playmobile toys, puzzles, wooden cars, matchbox cars, random "guys" & all their weaponry, and leftover pieces. Gone to the basement. Maybe to be gone through later, maybe not, but that decision is for another day. I hauled at least 10 boxes downstairs and shut them in the guest room.
I took a shower, and sped out to pick up my daughter. No, boys first today. Daughter afterwards.
As I drove, my mind felt a bit clearer than it had in the morning. What would the kids think? Would they notice?
I would notice, and maybe that's a big part of what matters. When we came home, an hour and a half and 3 kids later, they came in and went straight for the basement to build the boats they'd started yesterday.
My daughter, who is three, eventually came up and started playing quietly with a little train car on the coffee table. No tracks. She talked and played while I started dinner. One son came up and started talking to me about setting up a lion fish tank. You know, the poisonous, dangerous kind. The other continued to build downstairs. Was I imagining things, or was the lion fish conversation going more smoothly than usual?
Dinner time. They all ate the dinner. I even put out a tablecloth (I was really going nuts here with the calm theme). And candle. I put dinner on the table, including silverware and drinks, before I called the kids to dinner, even though 2 of them were already in the room. My mom has been telling me this for years, by the way. We sat and ate and talked. We often talk, but this was nicer than sometimes.
Homework time. My eldest son discovered the homework spot, which is only partly finished but GREATLY decluttered. My daughter and I curled up on the couch and read an old favorite book. Thing 2 (as my second son is affectionately known) took a shower bath combo. I'll call my daughter Sally -- she had a bath. As I assisted Thing 1 with homework, washed Sally, took her out of the bath to dry her off, Thing 2 yelled MMOOOOOOMMMMMMYYY!!! from upstairs... I ran up. The tub, as usual, was about to overflow (he doesn't notice) AND the water had gotten too hot. Sally screams - cold and dripping from the hallway downstairs. I'm about to uncork my own scream, when I hear Thing 1 (homework guy) ask sweetly -- and no, I hadn't had any wine yet -- "Can I help you dry off and find your pjs?" No kidding. I paused, closed my mouth, helped Thing 2 out of the bath, and resumed my calm even thought maybe it was rooted in shock.
Everyone is in bed and I still haven't lost my cool. But the homework spot is recluttered with my papers. Tomorrow I'll read another chapter. Goal for tonight: no yelling, at myself or my husband or anyone else who comes to mind.
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